Really Kid?

Have I ever told you how truly DUMB I am. I don't mean in the sense that I cannot speak. I mean stupid. Unintelligent. Slow to learn. Stubborn. Pretty much a loser and screw-up.

Wow, this blog post has already taken a turn to be pretty self-deprecating. But I DON'T want to be self-deprecating. I DO want to tell you how much of a messed-up sinner I am so that I can tell you how big my Savior is.

Because He's big.

          Really Big.

               HUGE, even.

So anyway, back to me being an idiot...

I just never learn. I complain about all the stuff I am going through. And I whine about how hard this is to go through. And apparently, I suffer from short-term memory loss, because I completely forget that THIS IS WHAT I ASKED FOR.

How many times did I pray, "Lord, break me down."

"Lord, take away all of me, so that only You are left."

"He must become greater, I must become less."

"God, make me weak, so that You can be stronger."

In my journal on the 18th of May, "I pray: 'That I may know him and the power of his resurrection and may SHARE HIS SUFFERINGS, becoming like him in death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection of the dead' (Philippians 3:10-11)."

"God, help me to be content in all circumstances."

"God, I really do want to see suffering as grace."

I PRAYED FOR THIS.

Could I be any slower to learn? Any slower to figure this out? God gave me what I asked for. God answered my prayer.

How annoying am I, literally complaining about all of this stuff, refusing to see the gift? That must be really annoying, like a kid who begs for a toy, and when her dad gets it for her, she just complains about how much playing with that toy stinks. Really kid? I gave this to you because YOU ASKED FOR IT.

But that's me. Just an ungrateful kid.

I want to be broken down, made weak, die to my sin, and be refined like gold until I look less like me, and more like the person God wants me to be, more like Jesus Christ. Yet in the process of all of this taking place, I complain. I whine. I cry. And I say I don't want to play with the toy. I don't want the gift.

I forgot that I want this. I forgot to say thank you.

Thank you God.
I am walking through fire, but I am being purified.
I am being broken, but I will be made more whole.
I am understanding suffering, but I will become more like you.
I am hurting, but I will learn to be content in all circumstances.
I am being stripped of all I have, completely laid bare, but I am beginning to give thanks, even in the pain.
Even in the suffering.
Even when it's hard and even when it hurts.

This is grace.

So, thank you God, for the gift. I am going to try to play with it, but I won't take it for granted. I won't break it. And maybe I will learn. Maybe next time, I won't be so dumb, so slow.

Lord, mercy.

Extreme Peru Vlog #10

The Master speaks,
Calls me higher
But I am just too weak
Reaching higher, going farther
Hurts, because I am found
Trapped in a pit
My sins have me bound
Wanting to spit
Out my rage and anger
But you bore them on the cross
And maybe this is just hunger
For more of You, to be my life's boss
I need your grace to transform me
To be greater than all my sin
Heal me with your blood given freely
And with a new heart, a new life shall I begin

"Who I am
Hates Who I've been"
But really
Who I want to be
Hates the person
Who wears my shoes each day
Pride is impossible
When you're fighting
...Just to survive

Just have faith!
Just try to forgive!
Just keep swimming...
It's not that easy
You might as well
Just tell me
To grow gills
And breathe underwater
...Just breathe

Take it all in
And seek the Healer
Because One is coming
who makes all things,
All things new
One who promises
Brighter days
Yet to come
...Just come

Waves of emotion are followed by
Long periods of numbness
And yet I wait
I plead. I cry. I beg.
I seek justice
I long for wholeness
I hurt. I rage. I break.
I need focus
To know where I am going
To dream for brighter days
I hope. I hold. I trust.
No matter where he leads
No matter what this means
I do not let go.

An Open Letter to This Generation

If you have been around me in the past couple of months, it is very likely that you have heard me mention RELEVANT Magazine or the RELEVANT Podcast. I just really like it.

But what I would consider a must-read and potentially life-changing article is Dr. Ron Sider's "Open Letter to This Generation." And because I not only highly recommend it, but also insist that you read it, I am posting it here.

So enjoy. Think about his four questions. And let us strive to do better than our ancestors in each area.

Many would consider Dr. Ron Sider the father of the modern Christian social justice movement. He released his seminal book, Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, in 1977 after observing racism and poverty in inner-city Philadelphia. Since then, Sider has written nearly two dozen books and more than 100 articles on social injustice and biblical discipleship, including Completely Pro-Life, which ushered in a new “holistic” thinking on what it means to affirm life in areas beyond abortion opposition, such as capital punishment, nuclear weapons and severe poverty. Here, Sider considers his legacy and the legacy of his peers as he challenges a new generation of “young, radical evangelists” in how they approach justice, relativism, marriage and homosexuality. He offers four questions, the answers to which he believes will inform Christianity in the 21st century. The first question is presented below, and the other three will follow tomorrow and Wednesday.

For a long time, people called me a “young evangelical.” Actually, the adjectives were sometimes less gracious: “radical,” or “leftist” or “Marxist.” (My response to the “Marxist” label was simple: “I’m a Mennonite farm boy, for Pete’s sake. Have you ever met a Mennonite farmer who wants the government to own his land?”)

So I used to be a “radical, young evangelical.” But I was born in 1939, so, however reluctantly, I have long since had to abandon the label “young.” Hence this open letter to a younger generation, many of whom are 40 years younger than I am.

I have no desire to lecture you or “set you straight.” I have enormous appreciation for this generation. Forty years ago, when some of my friends and I started talking about social justice, racial justice, God’s special concern for the poor, and holistic mission that combined evangelism and social action, we were considered radical.

Much is different today. Not all older Christians “get it,” but you younger ones certainly do. A special concern for the poor and oppressed is part of your DNA. Caring for creation and transcending racial prejudice is simply who you are. You cannot imagine an evangelism that only cares about people’s “souls.” You just assume, without any need for argument, that biblical Christians should love the whole person the way Jesus did, offering both spiritual and material transformation. You want to engage the whole culture—art, music, literature, politics—rather than withdraw into some isolated ghetto. For all of this and much more, I shout, “Hallelujah!”

But there are four areas where I would love to have a dialogue. I have four questions I would like to ask you to ponder. Do you care as much about inviting non-Christians to embrace Christ as Savior and Lord as you do about social justice? As you understand, thanks in part to postmodernism, that every person’s thinking is limited by his/her specific location in space and time, are you in danger of abandoning an affirmation of moral and intellectual truth? Will you do a better job than my generation of keeping your marriage vows? As you rightly seek to respect the dignity and rights of gay/lesbian people, have you considered carefully the Church’s millennia-long teaching on homosexuality?

I won’t lecture you on these topics. Every generation of Christians must seek again to discern what biblical revelation means for their own time and place. All I ask is that you do that in dialogue with the whole Church—the Church of the earlier centuries, the worldwide Church today and, yes, those of us who are now “older evangelicals.” We will pray fervently for you as you do that and be most grateful when you seek us out for dialogue.

Let me explain my four questions.

Are you in danger of neglecting evangelism in your passion for social justice?

You know how much I affirm your commitment to justice for the poor and your rejection of an evangelism that focuses only on the “soul” and neglects peoples’ material needs. I have spent much of my life arguing on biblical grounds for precisely these concerns. But I have also watched some Christian “social activists” lose their concern for evangelism.

Evangelism and social action are inseparable. They are two sides of the same coin. But they are not identical. Working for economic development in poor communities or structural change to end systemic oppression is not the same thing as inviting persons who do not now confess Christ to embrace Him as Lord and Savior. If we only do social action and never say we do it because of Christ, our good deeds only point to ourselves and make us look good.

The Bible clearly teaches that persons are both material and spiritual beings. Scripture and human experience show sin is personal and social; social brokenness (including poverty) results both from wrong personal choices and unjust structures. If we only work at half the problem, we only produce half a solution. People need both personal faith in Christ that transforms their values and very person, and material, structural transformation that brings new socioeconomic opportunities. That is why holistic evangelical community development programs that truly combine evangelism and social action (think of John Perkins and the Christian Community Development Association) work better now in this life.

But persons are made for far more than a good life here on earth for 60 or 100 years. Every person is invited to live forever with the living God. Jesus died so whoever believes in Him may have a better life now and life eternal.

Two other biblical truths are crucial. Jesus is the only way to salvation, and those who continue to reject Christ depart eternally from the living God. I know my generation has sometimes said these things in harsh, insensitive ways. Too often we have failed to say with the Bible that God does not want anyone to perish (2 Peter 3:9).

But if the Bible is our norm, we dare not neglect its teaching that people are lost without Christ (Ephesians 2:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:9). Jesus (certainly the most amazing teacher of love the world has ever known) says more about eternal separation from the living God than anyone else in the Bible (Matthew 25:41; Matthew 13:41-42, 49-50; Matthew 18:8). Surely, if Jesus is true God as well as true man, we cannot act as if He did not know what He was talking about.

Instead, we should embrace His claim that He is the way, the truth and the life; “no one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6, NIV). For as Peter said at Pentecost, there is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12).

Of course there are tough questions about things like those who have never heard or eternal punishment. (I wrestle with those in the chapter on evangelism in my Good News and Good Works: A Theology for the Whole Gospel.) But for most of Church history, Christians have believed and taught the biblical affirmation that apart from Christ, people are lost eternally. Those parts of the modern church that have abandoned these truths have declined disastrously.

So, gently but clearly, I ask you to wrestle with the question: Do you care as much about lovingly inviting non-Christians to embrace the Savior as you do about social justice? Is there any danger that this generation of Christian social activists will repeat the one-sidedness of the old social gospel and neglect evangelism? Will this generation of young Christians spend as much time, money and effort praying and strategizing about how to winsomely invite non-Christians to come to Christ as you do working for social justice?

Are you in danger of abandoning an affirmation of moral and intellectual truth?

My second question is about truth. You have rightly learned from postmodernism that every person’s ideas and beliefs are significantly shaped by their specific location in space and time. Do you still believe there is moral and intellectual truth?

You are certainly correct to point out that Christians over the centuries, including this generation of older evangelicals, have been perversely shaped in their thinking by surrounding society. St. Augustine said dreadful things about sexuality, and Luther penned terrible comments about Jews. In my lifetime, too many older Christians were blatantly racist and homophobic. They largely ignored the hundreds of biblical texts about God’s amazing concern for justice for the poor and marginalized. One older Christian friend of mine told me 35 years ago that he had gone to evangelical Bible conferences for 60 years and never once heard a sermon on justice.

Far too often, older Christians have made absolute claims about their theological affirmations. We failed to see clearly that every human theological system contains human misunderstanding that comes from the fact that every theologian is a finite, imperfect, still painfully sinful person. Young Christians have learned we must be far more humble in our theological claims.

But does that mean truth does not exist? Sophisticated postmodernist thinkers say yes. All “truth” is simply a human construct produced by different groups of people to promote their self-interest. At the popular level, relativism reigns. Whatever I feel is right for me is “my truth.” It is outrageous intolerance to tell someone else they are wrong.

But finally, that kind of relativism—whether the sophisticated or the popular variety—does not work. If truth does not exist, science and civilization collapse. If, as Nietzsche claimed, no moral truth exists, then society is simply a vicious power struggle where the most powerful trample the rest. As the famous atheist philosopher Bertrand Russell said, those who have the best poison gas will have the ethics of the future. One of the best Christian antidotes to this kind of modern relativism is Pope John Paul II’s great encyclical The Splendor of Truth.

The fact that my (and every other human) understanding of truth, justice and morality is dreadfully imperfect does not mean intellectual and moral truth do not exist. God is truth. Christ is the truth. The Bible is God’s revealed truth, even though my understanding of it is very inadequate. That God is 
Father, Son and Holy Spirit; that Jesus is true God and true man; that Jesus rose bodily from the dead; that Jesus’ life, death and resurrection are the only way to salvation for everyone—these are unchanging truths that will always be essential for every generation of Christians, even though we finite human beings never fully understand them.

Not everything must change.

Contemporary culture confuses relativism and tolerance. In so many circles, it is considered intolerable to say someone else’s behavior and beliefs are wrong; but I can and should respect other people and defend their freedom to say and do things I consider wrong without abandoning my assertion that some actions are moral and others are immoral. We must vigorously reject society’s equation of tolerance with relativism.
My prayer for this generation of young Christians is that you learn from postmodernists the many complex ways our ideas and beliefs are shaped by our social setting without abandoning the historic Christian affirmation that moral and intellectual truth exist because they are grounded in God.

Will you honor your marriage vows?

Third, a question about marriage. Will you young Christians be more faithful in keeping your marriage vows than my generation?

I weep over the pain and agony so many of you have experienced in your homes. Through no choice of your own, you had to suffer the anguish of broken families. So few of you enjoyed the security of knowing Mom and Dad would be faithful to each other for life. It saddens me to realize some of you even fear to marry because of the pain you experienced due to your parents’ broken marriages. That your Christian parents got divorced at the same rate as the rest of society is one of the most blatant markers of Christian failure today.

The widespread agony in so many evangelical homes is a striking contrast to the joy of good Christian marriages. God’s best gift to me, after His Son, is my wife, Arbutus, with whom I expect to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary this August. Of course we had troubled times. At the worst time, we needed the gifts of a wonderful Christian marriage counselor for six months. But the ongoing joy of a wife and husband growing together in mutual submission over many decades is an amazing gift of our Creator. And yes, even at 71 years of age, the sex is still a delight.

The older I grow, the more certain I am the Creator’s design for sex and marriage truly works better than the alternatives. For a couple years before our marriage, I carried a note in my wallet promising God and myself to wait until marriage. At the hardest times in our marriage, when I was severely tempted to commit adultery, God’s holy commands protected me. Working through our painful struggles rather than running away from them has led to decades of happiness.

I want to plead with young Christians. Please resolve now to keep your promise to your spouse and children. Please live out a wonderful model of joyful, mutually submissive marriages that bless your children with security and goodness and attract non-Christians to the Savior. Forgiving each other for failures, working through the inevitable problems and growing together for a lifetime are better for your children, better for the Church and better for society. That is also the way to more lasting joy for yourself.

One related question for you to ponder if you are not married: Can you look into the face of Christ and say, “Lord, I believe with all my heart that the way I am relating physically to others is pleasing to you”? If you cannot do that, are you willing to ask Christ to help you change your behavior so it truly pleases the Lord? If you are not willing to behave now sexually in a way that is biblically obedient, why do you think you will later keep your marriage vows and spare your children the agony you have endured?

My young friends, the Creator’s way really works much better than today’s sexual promiscuity. I believe with all my heart that your generation can, in the power of the Risen Lord, keep your marriage vows, experience joyous marriages and thereby live winsome models of marital fidelity and happiness. I beg you, make that your goal and then by God’s grace do what it takes to reach it.

As you seek to respect the dignity of gay/lesbian people, have you wrestled carefully with the Church’s teaching on homosexuality?

Finally, a question about the complex issue of homosexuality. Are you quickly abandoning what older Christians believe on this issue without carefully examining biblical teaching and the near unanimous history of the Church over almost 2,000 years?

God knows the older generation of Christians have dealt with this issue almost as badly as possible. Many of us were homophobic. We tolerated gay bashers. We were largely silent when bigots in the society battered or even killed gay people. We did not deal sensitively and lovingly with young people in our churches struggling with their sexual orientation. Instead of taking the lead in ministering to people with AIDS, some of our leaders even opposed government funding for research to discover medicine to help them. At times, we even had the gall to blame gay people for the collapse of marriage in our society, ignoring the obvious fact that 95 percent of the people in this society are heterosexual. The primary reason for the collapse of marriage is the fact that the vast heterosexual majority (including Christians) have not kept their marriage vows.

I understand why you are not enthusiastic about listening to older Christians on this issue. But is that a good reason for failing to wrestle carefully with the biblical material and the long teaching of the Church over the years?

I don’t have space here to discuss the details of biblical interpretation on this issue—except to note the primary biblical case against homosexual practice is not the few explicit biblical texts, but rather that in dozens of places, the Bible talks about the goodness of sexual intercourse and always the context is a married man and woman. There are many excellent books on the biblical material: Duke New Testament professor Richard Hays’ chapter 16 in The Moral Vision of the New Testament; Stanley J. Grenz, Welcoming but Not Affirming; and Robert A. J. Gagnon, The Bible and Homosexual Practice (his scholarship is solid, although his tone could be more gentle).

One other fact complicates your task. The dominant media in secular culture are overwhelmingly committed to teaching everyone the historic Christian teaching on sexuality is wrong and that heterosexual and homosexual (or bisexual) practice are equally valid personal choices. Hollywood, TV, intellectual elites and major newspapers are all dreadfully biased. I pray you will let the Bible and the Church, rather than secular culture, be decisive in your thinking on this issue.

And please do not be misled by the theologically confused argument that since we are all sinners (which is true), the Church cannot say homosexual practice is sin. Just because every Christian continues to fail God in some ways does not mean we should abandon biblical norms and stop speaking of sin. Rather, we should reaffirm God’s standards and walk with each other to help each other become more and more conformed to the image of Christ.

Younger Christians are listening more carefully to Church history, especially the writers of the first few centuries. Surely, therefore, you will thoughtfully weigh the fact that for almost 2,000 years, Christians have taught overwhelmingly that God’s will for sexual intercourse is within the marriage of a man and a woman.

Also important is careful listening to the Christians in the Global South where a large majority of Christians now live. Here, too, young Christians are well ahead of my generation in overcoming the condescending, even racist attitudes of many white European/North American Christians. Therefore, I’m sure you will want to attach great significance to the fact that overwhelmingly, Christians in the Global South believe homosexual practice is not God’s will. (One of the more striking recent examples of white, “Western” arrogance is the way relatively small Anglican/Episcopal churches in the West have refused to submit to the views of the vast majority of Anglicans worldwide who in fact reside in the Global South.) My prayers go with you as you dialogue with your sisters and brothers in the Global South on this and all issues.

Young evangelicals could embrace the Church’s historic teaching without repeating my generation’s mistakes. Andrew Marin (author of Love Is an Orientation) is just one example of how you rightly have gay friends and seek to deeply understand them. You can oppose gay bashing, insist on proper civil rights for gay Americans and help the Church take the lead in ministering to people with AIDS. You can and should insist homosexual sin is no worse than other sins, like adultery, or racism or covetousness. You can and should insist that it is safe and acceptable for Christians to publicly acknowledge a gay orientation (orientation and practice are quite different issues) and seek the support of their Christian community for living celibate lives (such persons should be eligible for any office in the church). In short, young Christians could develop a radically different (and far more Christian!) approach to homosexual persons without abandoning the historic Christian position.

There you have my four questions. Thanks, young friends, for listening to someone who is 40 or 50 years older than you are. On all these issues and many more, you will have to find your own way. Above all, remain unconditionally committed to Christ and uncompromisingly faithful to biblical revelation. I’ll pray for you as you seek to apply biblical faith to your complex world.

Fog and Fire

The other day, heading to the Sacred Valley, the fog was tremendous. Possibly the worst fog I have seen in Peru; we couldn’t see even a few meters ahead.

And “heading to the Sacred Valley” means spending an hour and a half on a crowded bus, at high speeds rounding mountain corners.

Then you add fog into the mix…well, it’s a little scary.

Don’t worry, the story doesn’t have a scary ending that would make my father cringe.

I was just amazed as we descended into the Valley. As we went lower into the Valley—that simply moments before we couldn’t see for the canvas of white completely obscuring the mountains behind—the peaks beyond appeared. All of a sudden, the greenish-brown mountains were revealed, and as we got closer and closer, we could see more and more.

And isn’t life like that? I know, it sounds totally cliché, but we sometimes just can’t see everything. God sees what we cannot see through the fog.

I was reminded today in a video from Francis Chan that God’s thoughts are not our thoughts, and his ways are not our ways.

And sometimes, I just don’t see. I just don’t understand. I believe in a wonderful, just God. I believe he is always good. But I struggle to see it. I struggle to live in the tension of the justice and grace that I am called to live out. I struggle, because I so desperately want to understand; I so desperately want to see into the future. I want to know that things will turn out the way I want them to turn out.

But God’s thoughts are not my thoughts. God’s ways are not my ways.

Isn’t that just so annoying?

I know, there I go demonstrating my humanity. I still have so far to go. But God is faithfully leading me. He holds my hand, he walks beside me. He molds me, and purifies me.

You know, I think there is a reason we have that metaphor in the Bible, of being purified as gold, through fire.

Fire hurts. It burns. And the wounds take a while to heal. But the result is purification. Would anyone want to buy gold that hadn’t been purified first? So it is worth it.

It truly stinks, but it is worth it.

Any Excuse to Party!

Any excuse to party.

Don’t worry blog readers, that is not exactly my life philosophy, as will be well known by those who know me well.

But one could say that it is the philosophy of many in Peru, especially in Cusco.

They just love to party. For any reason.

Mother’s day, for example, was a three-day celebration, complete with fireworks, family gatherings, and plenty of drinking.

Another such example is the Inti Raymi celebration in June. Actually, all of June is a huge party, culminating in the day of Inti Raymi, where literally thousands gather in Saqsaywaman for the sacrifice of what we later found out was a fake alpaca. It’s all for show.

And for another excuse to party.

Peruvians do love to party, but I like to think we Americans can hold our own. At least we try to celebrate when we can, like the 4^th of July.

We ate a ton, and shot off fireworks in the backyard. We finished the evening singing the national anthem at the top of our lungs on Tyler and Amy’s third story balcony.

Any excuse to party!

I Am Still Running

God is always good.


And He blesses our work so much.

I am now working with Kathy in Lamay, Coya, and Santiago. And after limping along for so many months without a partner, together we are now going full speed ahead. To kick off our work together, we have been doing events in each site.

First in Lamay on Friday, July 1, we attempted to do an event with the fewest number of us (the Extreme Missionaries) ever. It was just me, Kathy, Tyler and Amy, and we were putting on a movie (in Quechua) and hot chocolate night. Sound like a lot of work? With only the four of us, it would have been nearly impossible, but events are completely different now, because we have contacts in each site.

Josefina, Marleni, Nazaria, and Aurelio were literally lifesavers. They helped us make hot chocolate (at Nazaria and Aurelio's house), helped us pass out the hot chocolate, helped us take down names/addresses of all present, and even helped us yell at rowdy teenage boys. It is so wonderful to have people help us.


We had to move the event in Lamay from the open-air plaza to the inside auditorium in the city hall because of rain. This was definitely the right decision, but we were worried about people coming inside for the movie. But they did, and we had 170 people there!


I preached this night, even using some Quechua in the message. When I flipped open my Quechua Bible to John 3:16 and began to read, mouths fell open. They were shocked that this gringa could read Quechua! I was told later that I read it perfectly (although how would I know if this were true?), and that the people were especially surprised because, even though they have spoken the language their whole lives, very few can actually read it. I then quoted John 3:16 in Spanish, and then in English, and everyone was really into it. I then shared a simple message: God loves you. And people responded. We made many new contacts and already have plans to disciple them.


The following Friday, we also put on an event (movie and hot chocolate night) in Santiago, right outside a market (called Huancaro). The market is kind of the center point for where we are working in Santiago. The hot chocolate took forever to prepare, and we didn't have all of the help/resources we were supposed to have, so things were not exactly going according to plan. We did have a group from YWAM come to help us. We began to serve the hot chocolate, and the movie was supposed to be starting, but it didn't start. We kept passing out the hot chocolate, and still nothing. The computer decided to not work, but we took names, and Pastor preached. We passed out a couple hundred cups of hot chocolate, and made some new contacts, in spite of the inconveniences. 


Then half a week later, we did a hot chocolate night and movie in Quechua inside the municipality in Coya. We passed out over 300 fliers, thanks for the help of a few guys from YWAM. Kathy and I again prepared the hot chocolate by ourselves, and the help we were supposed to have from our contacts didn't come through. But everything else came through really well. Coya has been a much harder place to work than Lamay, but we were able to meet many more people and get their contact info. We are looking forward to the follow-up here!

This Friday, we will have our first-ever church service in Lamay, and will continue our services in Coya. We will end the night spending the night at Nazaria and Aurelio's house. Pray for the services to go well!


I titled this post, "I Am Still Running" because of the great progress Kathy and I are having, but I'm going to leave you with some lyrics from a song of the same name, by Jon Foreman.


Build me a home inside your scars
Build me a home inside your song
Build me a home inside your open arms
The only place I ever will belong